You might expect future heirs to a family business to worry most about succession or ownership. In Christina Wing’s classroom, the topic that makes students the most nervous is the prenup.
Christina wrote about this for Inc. in “A Prenup Can Protect Your Family Business. The Biggest Risk Is Waiting Too Long.” Many of her MBA students will inherit companies their parents or grandparents built, and without a prenup, a divorce can put control of that business at risk. They already agree a prenup makes sense. What scares them is bringing it up with the person they love without it sounding like distrust or a lack of commitment.
Advice for the person asking
Christina tells students to present the prenup as a family policy that would apply no matter who they married, and to point out if siblings or cousins have signed one too. It should only cover what they stand to inherit, not what the couple earns or builds together. Their partner needs an independent lawyer, paid for by the family since the family is the one asking. And even though prenups don’t carry the same legal weight everywhere, Christina still recommends one, because it makes the family’s intentions clear to everyone.
Most important, start early. A prenup still unsigned two weeks before the wedding is a recipe for conflict, and Christina has seen at least two former students’ weddings called off over prenup disputes.
What parents can do
For parents, Christina’s advice is to set the policy long before it gets personal. She started talking with her own children about it when they were young teenagers, so the expectation was clearly never about who they’d choose. Parents should also let their child handle every conversation with the partner. In the worst case she’s seen, the parents of a former student went to his fiancée directly without telling him. She called off the wedding, and the family was estranged for years.
When it goes right
Most stories end better. One former student told her boyfriend early on that whoever she married would need to sign a prenup. Once they were engaged she still dreaded raising it, but when she finally did, he didn’t miss a beat.
“Of course, you first mentioned that years ago. What’s the next step?”
The Inc. article is adapted from Christina’s book, Unspeakable: The Taboo Topics We Avoid and How to Talk About Them. You can learn more at www.christinawing.com/book.
Link to the full article below.
